Three Is Always A Crowd - And A Broken Heart
by Andyka1895
Summary: It's an AU Chelsie fanfiction. What happens, if Mrs Hughes refuses Mr Carson's proposal because she is already engaged? I have changed another point of the story. What will be the consequences? Flashbackes will be there too. I'm Hungarian so please forgive me for my grammar.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello. This is my very first Chelsie fanfic. And I'm not English, and I might have difficulties with the language. Please forgive me for that.**

 **It's an AU Chelsie fanfiction. In that story, Joe Burns's wife, Ivy, didn't die in 1910, but in 1921. So Burns didn't want to propose to Mrs Hughes in 1913. They just bumped into each other at the fair and Elsie saw him with his wife and son and it made her feel sad.**

 **And there is another alteration. After Elsie told Mr Carson the story about Becky and her poverty, she bumps into Joe at the village and they strated to exchange letters...**

 **The characters and the story belong to Julian Fellowes.**

 **Set: Christmas 1924. Mr Carson asks Mrs Hughes for a few minutes alone during the Christmas party.**

* * *

 **Patience is a Virtue... and Refusing is the Reward?**

 **Chapter 1**

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 _"You are if you think I'm asking you to marry me."_

Elsie took a deep breath. Idiotic man. Why did he have to say it now? They had known each other for twenty years and she had been waiting for him to propose to her for one year. But it was too late…

The housekeeper held the two glasses so tightly, that she was afraid of knapping them. She didn't dare to look in Mr Carson's eyes, but focused on his hand. His voice was calm, his speech was tight-lipped and very unromantic, but still sweet and understandable. But his hands were shaking from fluster.

"Mr. Carson," she was still staring at his hand "I think it's time to involve you in my little secret."

"Are you not offended?" Mr Carson frowned his eyebrows.

Elsie had to laugh. That wasn't joyful, but desperate and bitter. She was going to offend that man in minutes. She was going to make his heart broken. He was standing in front of her, having a lump in his throat, begging for her answer and she was going to hurt him and make him feel miserable. Her heart went out to him.

"Oh Mr Carson I can assure the very last thing in the world that I am in this moment is offended."

Elsie put the glasses on Mr Carson's desk, still avoiding his gaze. She had to continue.

"But …"

"But?"

Elsie had to look up the butler at least once. His eyes were full of hope and fear. He had never been good at expressing his feelings but Elsie knew that Mr. Carson was vulnerable and unsheltered at the moment.

"Mr. Carson," she started with heavy heart." I had originally wished to let it know after Christmas. I was aware of the fact that you all were busy these days and I didn't intend to bother the staff with my private life and problems."

Elsie licked her upper lip as if she was trying to gain strength to say her thoughts aloud.

"After a few days later, when I told you about my financial and family background, I had to go to the village to arrange some private things. There I bumped into one of my former …" she cleared her throat "suitors. He is a widowed farmer now. We were struggling and chatting and were a bit nostaligc, I suppose. We exchanged some letters, and I received one from him a few weeks ago where he asked me to marry him. I've been thinking about it a lot, and finally I wrote him back to ask him to visit me and have a conversation about it personally. We had dinner last week."

Mr. Carson bit his lip so hard that it started bleeding. He closed his eyes for a moment to gain himself together.

"And you accepted him, didn't you?" he asked stilly with a broken heart.

Elsie didn't respond but he understood her unspoken words.

"I see," he nodded resignedly.

"Mr Carson. You must understand… I felt then and there that I had no other opportunities. Mrs Patmore is having a boarding house, Daisy is planning to continue her studies and lead a farm, Mr and Mrs Bates are also dreaming of something like that, Gwen is a secretary and a wife now, Alfred is working as a chef, Ivy is fulfilling her dreams in America. Everybody is moving away and going on, except me."

Mr Carson's eyes widened. Elsie was aware of the fact that she must had spoken sharper and louder but based on his reaction, she had been shouting. She casted down her eyes like a young maid.

That was followed by emberassing silence. Mrs Hughes was twiddling with her thumb and Mr Carson's face gone red and he was unable to say a word by the humilation and pain he felt.

"Mrs Hughes… believe or not, I can imagine how awkward this situtation is for you… not to mention me, of course. I suppose, you should go and join the others and I would be very grateful, if we never mentioned this pointless conversation again."

It was obvious and natural for Elsie that Mr Carson wished to be alone in order to pull himself together and be able to go on. She had seen Mr Carson being melancholic many times, so she knew exactly what he needed those times. He went to his pantry, locked his door for a few minutes then came out as if nothing had happened. Or he looked for her and spillt his heart out for her. But that was an occasion she couldn't help him. Actually, she was the reason why he felt miserable.

She hesitated whether she should put her hand on his for a moment. Maybe he would yell at her or pull himself away from her. But it was worth a punt. Her hand reached out for his wrist and tightened it.

"I'm so sorry, Mr Carson. I can't even express you how much."

He wilted down. Elsie felt something wet on her hand. She was sure that he was fighting with tears. Elsie saw that it was time to move off.

She closed the door after herself and started scuttling. Mr. Carson was probably going to join them too after a few seconds alone. He just needed to brace himself up… and have a good cry. Daft man! If he hadn't come with that ridiculous idea of investing a propety together, but begun in medias res and offered his hand or kissed her or anything…

Elsie stopped and sighed.

"Be fair-minded, Elsie for God's sake." She scolded herself." You are in fault as much as he is. Why didn't you tell him that you had no money for his business? You should have known that he was going to ask you sooner or late. It was his intention from the begginning. You stupid female, you were the one who jumped into Joe's arms and accepted his proposal, weren't you? You have been always proud of your independence and practical mentality. And now you are giving your first wooer the glad hand. You are a miserable coward."

She didn't want to cry in front of Mr Carson. She thought she had no right for that. But now she began snobbing.

xxxxxx

Charles was sitting behind his desk. His eyes were teary and he felt destroyed. The alcohol in the glasses had been drunken. He knew he couldn't stay alone for too long because he would be missed. He felt himself like an oversensitive lad after his first amorous disappointment who hated the whole bloody world because of his own bitterness.

He was angry at Mrs Hughes, althought he felt that feeling wasn't righetous. She was fair as much as somebody could be fair in a situation like that. And yet… it was very rude from her, giving him a bucket at Christmas Eve. She should had waited at least two or three days. A proper lady would never ruin somebody's Christmas Eve by refusing him... But Mrs Hughes wasn't a lady.

In this manner, he acted stupidly too. Why the hell did he have to ask her at Chistmas Eve, when there was still a chance of being refused? He had only himself to thank for it.

Charles could had yelled and ravaged. If he had popped the question a few weeks earlier… But he was late. Mrs Hughes was marrying someone else because she was, as she had called herself earlier, a pauper, because she had nobody with the exception of her ill-minded sister, and because she was growing old. Maybe it wasn't the most elegant, the most dignified step from her, but it was quite compherensible.

He felt himself last time so miserable and disappointed when Charlie and Alice announced their wedding. He felt he was betrayed. He and Alice had been like a married couple. They had been planning their common future and saving money for months. Charles had planned to marry her as soon as they would had enough money.

But he had been waiting for too long… Alice had probably been fed up with inaction and jumped into the first fellow's arm who asked her. He punched Charlie Grigg in the eye for that. They had a fray then.

Later he came to Alice to apologize and wish her luck. As he found out later, that poor sweetheart had never realized that Charlie had stolen their money for their new life.

Being ashamed and broken, he went to work as a servant… again. He was a butler at Mrs. Simpson's home, who was from the middle-class. Then he got a job as a footman in Downton Abbey where he had served in his younger years. He became Downton Abbey's butler when Lady Mary was born. He had never had a child but he and Lady Mary were as close to each other as they were allowed by their social differences. She had always been like a daughter to him.

Elsie Hughes got the job at Downton Abbey as a head housemaid at the turn of the century. She wasn't young or stunningly beautiful, yet she possessed some kind of charm, and a natural talent of getting on well with most people which made her unspeakably attractive.

Yes, she was nice, intelligent, hard-working… but still, she was only a housemaid for Charles. He started to develop a special friendship with her, when she was chosen to be the housekeeper by Mrs Stevens who was just about to retire. Originally Miss O'Brien was expected to be the next housekeeper, because of her position as a lady's maid, but Mrs Stevens found Elsie more reliabe and emphatetic.

As soon as Elsie became Mrs Hughes, her former charm and openness just vanished. She became distant and dignified. She remained as helpful and kind with the maids and the footmen as she had been, but she made her masterhip felt quite often.

They started their nightly small talks that time. They mostly discussed the problems of the household, but sometimes they talked about themselves too. Once, before that terrible war, he found her in tears. She told him about her last missed chance of getting married. There was a man, called John or Joe Burns - Charles didn't remember exactly -, who wanted to propose to her when she came there as a head housemaid. After being turned down, Mr Burns married another woman and had a son together. She bumped into them at the fair, saw them happy and content and she realized what she had missed by refusing him…

Joe Burns…? JOE BURNS?! Of course! It was a bolt from the blue for Charles. The widowed farmer, one of her former suitors. Charles was sure she had been talking about him. He had widowed, and now he desperately wished to find a woman who would take care of him.

That was the point when Charles was furious at Mrs Hughes. How could she go that far? Was she so afraid of loneliness that she would be a slave of a bumpkin? A respectable housekeeper would give up her career for being a farmer's wife? Ridiculous.

Charles started from his chair, grabbed the nearest thing and dropped it onto the floor. It was Alice's photo with that frame Mrs Hughes had presented him. The frame was broken successfully.

xxxxxx

Elsie was slinkling silently next Mrs Patmore while the others were singing.

"Where is Mr Carson?" The cook asked.

Elsie blushed and cleared her throat.

"We had to have a conversation about a private thing, and he suddenly felt dizzy. He let me go back to you, but he said that he needed some minutes alone before he followed me."

Elsie secretly praised herself for making up such a great lie.

"But what happened to him? It's not his heart, is it?" she enquired apprehensively.

Elsie gave her a scornful blink.

"Mrs Patmore. I'm not sure it's the right place or the right time for that discussion." Elsie's voice was unwontedly nervous and sharp which surprised her friend.

Mrs Patmore was a bit emberassed but kept silent. If she knew that she had almost blundered up it…

xxxxxx

Charles finally felt ready to join the celebrators althought the last thing he wanted to do was celebrating and singing songs. He made his way upstairs when he caught a glimpse of the embracing Mr and Mrs Bates. If he wasn't that trist, he would shake hands with Mr Bates and greet him cheerfully. But now, he despised every kind of romance in world. He would had liked to pass by them without getting any attention. Unfortunately, he didn't succeed.

"Happy Christmas, Mr Carson. I'm so glad to see you," said Mr Bates with a blissful grin on his face.

Mr Carson looked at him sternly and left them without saying anything.

* * *

 **Hope you like it.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for your reviews. This chapter will tell you a bit about Elsie's past. It will be more depressing than the first one, but I swear, I will try to write something more joyful next time.**

 **The characters and the story belong to Julian Fellowes.**

 **Set:**

 **\- "Present", Chirstmas Eve 1924.**

 **\- Elsie's birth (1862)**

 **\- Becky's birth and childhood ( between 1872 and 1882)**

 **\- At about 1882, because Elsie is in her early 20s.**

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 **Chapter 2**

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Elsie was lying on her bed with opened eyes, while she was gazing at the ceiling. She had grown accustomed to having very little sleep and peace during Christmastide, but now she was unable to close her eyes. She was pondering. Thousands of her memories and experiences rose.

Her first memories from her childhood, playing with the animals from their farm, exacting physical work she oughted to do, the birth of Becky, that much money and energy their parents devoted for her treatment.

xxxxxx

 _Elsie was ten years old, when Becky was born. Like every child, she was jealous of her newborn sister because of the attention she received. But it was obvious for everyone that Becky was different from the others. She was physically healthy, but she had serious troubles with communicating other people. She couldn't be involved in household chores, rarely responded to the questions of their parents. She preferred playing with sticks._

 _As she was growing older, she got into the habit of weird and silly things, which Elsie considered only whims at first. She wasn't willing to get up before six o'clock in the morning, it didn't matter, what their parents ordered. She possessed other fads too she didn't want to give up. When their parents tried to punish or school her, she went into shock or hysterical._

 _Elsie was the one who learned to get closer to her. Becky didn't attend school, but was taught at home by her sister. She read aloud to her regulalry from her old books, taught her counting and writing. Elsie was astonished when she realized what a great talent Becky had in doing a sum in her head. She could count things in minutes for which Elsie needed to take out paper and pen. Reading helped them a lot to develop their relationship. Becky was very gifted in that manner, and memorized the text she was interested in._

 _When Elsie began to work she gave her sister as much books as she could afford. They were mostly second-hand, but made Becky happy. She was keen on shakespearian plays, learned them by heart, although Elsie often wondered, whether she understood their essence or not._

 _Elsie grew to like literature because of Becky. As for their parents, Mr. and Mrs. Hughes were hard-working, honorable, but simple-minded people. Literature was only was only waste of time for them. But they apprecaited Becky's talent in counting._

 _Mr. Hughes died an early death, so the bereaved had to get on without a man's help. That was the time when Elsie started to work as a housemaid in the nearest village to a middle-class married couple. One of her childhood friends, Allen, recommended her to Mr and Mrs Lester. He was a sort of butler there. Actually, he was the only male servant there. Mrs Lester was cold and unfriendly, but Mr Lester often had a discourse with her, when his wife was out._

 _That was the saddest period of Elsie's life. She heard once Mr and Mrs Lester speaking about her._

 _"I can't see your problem with Elsie," Mr Lester said "She is very accommodating and polite."_

 _Mrs Lester snorted sarcastically which wasn't very ladylike._

 _"Oh, yes. I know how much you like her, my darling."_

 _"Get away with you. It is the fact that she is nice and humble but look at her for a moment. As for her physical appearance, she can be glad, if she will be asked once in her lifetime."_

 _It hurted Elsie very much. She wasn't a beauty, she knew that, but she was often surrounded by boys and young fellows and one of them even asked her. If she had had to compare herself to a fictional heroine, she would had chosen a less impetuous version of Jane Eyre. But who would be her Edward Rochester?_

 _In spite of his former statement, Mr. Lester often complimented her when Mrs Lester wasn't in the near._

 _"You know Elsie," he smiled once. "There is something adorably_ _fascinating_ _in you. Natural beauty is random, and I've always appreciated brightness more, than good looks."_

 _Elsie couldn't decide whether she could take it as a compliment or not. It didn't matter actually, but Elsie was rather frustrated those times. Mr Lester didn't try to kiss her or even touch her, but often talked to her in an intimate and frivolous way. He crossed that line between masters and servants._

 _"I hope you'll stay with us for a long time," he mentioned another time. "But you can take my word for it… you will marry soon. Such a kind and neat girl …" he chuckled._

 _Although she had a close relationship with Allen, and he had good lines on his face, her feelings towards him were rather friendly than romantic._

 _Elsie and Allen had been working there for a year, when Allen took to his bed, so Elsie had to do the household chores except for cooking, which was Mrs Brown's duty. Mrs Lester willy-nilly helped her, like doing the shopping in the village. When she was out, and Mrs Brown was cooking lunch, Mr Lester asked for Elsie. But that was somehow different._

 _He was gazing at her with dark eyes. Elsie had seen a man that way only once. He was short and fat but very kind and his admiration for her was really flattering. He was the one who gave Elsie her first kiss… and later something more. Fortunately her mam had never found it out, but that was the first and last occasion, when Elsie broke that unspoken rule._

 _Mr Lester stepped closer to her._

 _"Elsie, there is something on your dress."_

 _Mr Lester reached out to wipe it. His hand was lying on her breast._

 _"You don't know how beautiful you are, do you?" he whispered gently._

 _He suddenly took her into his arms, kissed her hard, and pressed her body onto the wall. He was big and strong for his age, Elsie had no chance to escape… until he let her go… which happened ten minutes later._

xxxxxx

Elsie closed her eyes, her pulse rose due to her memories. There were teardrops in her eyes which she wiped immediately. She didn't mind crying when she was alone. Sometimes it made her feel better and made the pain in her heart less horrible.

xxxxxx

 _Elsie was really fond of Allen, who was a bit older than her. They had never feared showing their affections, when they were on their own, althought such a close relationship between a male one and a female one was considered highly improper. But Alan was like a brother to him... a brother, a friend, and nothing more._

 _When Allen recovered, he looked for his friend's company. He was astonished when Elsie began avoiding him and pulled herself away, when he wanted to caress her shoulders. Those times he was snubbed rudely._

 _Elsie liked reading in her room when she had a little free time. She read all the books she bought before giving them Becky. Sometimes she shared her reading experience with Allen._

 _One night, when she was reading when Allen stepped in without knocking._

 _"Allen? What are you doing here?" she asked suspiciously" It's very improper and forbidden, letting a man go to my bedroom."_

 _"What are you reading?" he inquired, letting her comment pass over his head._

 _"It's none of your concern," she answered coldly and entrenched herself in her book again._

 _Allen waited a few moments, then seated himself on her bed - without her permission._

 _"You used to tell me about the book you read. Even if I wasn't interested in it."_

 _He chuckled a little, but his face turned serious._

 _"Why do you keep avoiding me? It's not you, Els,"_

 _"You are right," she rolled her eyes without turning her head towards him "My name is Clara and I'm a duchess who dresses like a housemaid. And now get out before Mrs Brown notice us."_

 _Elsie stood up to open the door for Allen as an obvious hint. But Allen grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to him. Maybe he was ruder he intented to be and it put the lid on it for Elsie, but she did something she would regret forever. She had slapped the sweetest, dearest man she had ever known._

 _"How dare you? Let me go!" she shouted._

 _They needed a few seconds to realize what had happened between them. Elsie had never hit anybody before… including those impudent and braizen lads. And that was it. Elsie couldn't hold it anymore, but started weeping. Allen kept silent, pulled her to himself again, and began stroking her hair._

 _"I'm… I'm so sorry. Forgive me," she stammered lamely._

 _There they were, standing in each other's arms, saying nothing. When Elsie felt herself calmed down, Allen suggested sitting down. She obeyed._

 _Allen demanded her, to tell him the whole story. The usual shyness vanished from his voice. He was now a grown-up man who supported a small, weak woman._

 _And Elsie was talking. She didn't realize what she was saying, the words and sentences just followed each other automatically. Allen was nid-nodding continuously, but his face remained inexpressive. When Elsie finished, he gave her a kiss on her forehead._

 _"You must go to the police," he said firmly, but she shook her head ostentatiously._

 _"I won't."_

 _"Why?"_

 _"I have no evidence. I have no witnesses. I will never be able to prove it," she whispered._

 _What a naive girl she was. She just needed to find a doctor who would examine her. But it didn't come to her mind. And Allen was just a man, he would never dream of suggesting it._

 _"Tell your Mam."_

 _"No," she replied quickly. Her mam would be the last person, she would complain to. She didn't want to upset her._

 _"Then I will."_

 _"You won't either," she hissed._

 _Allen blinked._

 _"You can't stop me. I can write to her anytime."_

 _"Are you mad, Allen?"she barked roughly. "She has such a hard life with Becky. If I or you inform her, it will break her heart."_

 _Allen nodded, indicating that he had understood it._

 _"But you must inform Mrs Lester."_

 _"I will think about it," she said, but obviously lied._

 _"I know what it means."_

 _"I will," she repeated herself impatiently._

 _"Liar."_

 _Short silence between them. Allen opened his mouth again. It would be a sentence he tried to avoid._

 _"Are you with a child? If you are, you must tell them."_

 _Elsie sighed. Her cycle had always been unsystematic, she couldn't figure it out yet._

 _"I can't tell it yet ..."_

 _"... but if you're pregnant... "_

 _"... then I will leave the village and start a new life ..."_

 _"... and I will accompany you," he finished their sentence._

 _She looked at him incredulously. She didn't want to believe her own ears._

 _"What?"_

 _"Be my wife, Elsie Hughes," he said without smiling._

 _Elsie's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. He took her hand into his and looked in her eyes deeply._

 _"Marry me. Marry me, as soon as possible and let's just leave everything behind us. Or let's move back to your farm and live there."_

 _Elsie's schocked look was replaced by an affectionate smile. She caressed his face. What a treasure he was. He loved her so much that he would make such a sacrifice for her. He would marry a fallen woman and bring up her child as his own. But she couldn't force him. She couldn't do this with him… and that boy._

 _"I'll ask one question. Are you in love with me, Allen?"_

 _He swallowed gently._

 _"I love you."_

 _Neither of them broke their eye contact. Allen was ready to take care of her, but Elsie protested against it in her head._

 _"Right. But I asked whether you are in love with me or not ..."_

 _"... and I said I loved you. I love you as much as I can. I would do anything for your happiness."_

 _Elsie tightened his hand._

 _"You love me as your sister or your best friend. You are a smart boy, you know the difference. But you will be incapable of loving me as a woman or as your wife."_

 _"Why is it so bloody important to you?" he was close to shouting. "I would be able to fall for you, Els. We've known each other since our childhood. We understand each other. We have so much in common._

 _Now Elsie's mind was away from the point. She envisioned that tall chap. He and Allen met at night, so she couldn't study his favours or the colour of his hair. They hid themselves behind the bicycle shed and came back ten or twenty minutes later. They went it for doing that. She had seen them kissing once, but it was very dark then._

 _"I know about him, Allen."_

 _"About who?"_

 _"About that certain chap who is so special for you. You keep… greeting each other behind the bicycle shed. He lives in the near, doesn't he?"_

 _Allen blinked and swallowed, but his face didn't express any emotion._

 _"How many times… ?"_

 _"More, than I'm proud of, honey. More, than I'm proud of," she replied softly, studying her shoes._

 _That conversation was shameful for both of them. That was forbidden by the law. Elsie knew that it would lead to serious consequences. But it was not Elsie's business to judge. She considered it unnatural but it was a private manner in her eyes._

 _Allen shoke his head and smiled sadly._

 _"You do have a finger in every pie, don't you?"_

 _"Much more exciting, than reading sentimental novels."_

 _That made them sniggle. They could always jolly each other._

 _"You won't accept my hand, will you?"_

 _"You must truss me up and drag me to the church by my hair, if you want me to be your spouse," she giggled._

 _For the first time at that night, they bursted into laughter, althought the issue itself wasn't cheerful at all. But they needed some fun and sauciness before facing the hard reality. Elsie learnt from Allen that a good sense of humor could be a quiet treasure._

xxxxxx

 _Mrs Lester asked for her next day. She insisted on speaking privately with her. Elsie's heart was pounding as she made her way to the drawing-room._

 _Mrs. Lester was a pleasant-looking, but cold lady. She always acted as she would be angry with the whole world. She couldn't bear the presence of children. Elsie sometimes wondered, if she was infertile._

 _"I suspect, you know, why I wanted to talk to you."_

 _"Did Allen tell you about it, ma'am?" asked Elsie._

 _That was the first time, when Elsie didn't see hatred and jealousy in her eyes, but bitterness and sorrow. It wasn't probably the first time when her husband tried to seduce their housemaid. Mrs Lester sighed._

 _"First and foremost, I would like to thank you, that you didn't go to the police."_

 _Elsie bit her lip and the other women continued._

 _"Elsie you must know, that you are not the first or the last woman who has been a victim of… a monster. If you wish to go on as a servant, you'll have to get used to it."_

 _Mrs Lester hesitated, but she wanted to get over it soon._

 _"If you are… in trouble… we do have intention to pay you some money every month. Not officially, but you would receive enough money for the baby's expenses."_

 _"Telling the truth, ma'am, I would like to leave the village as soon as possible. May I ask for a reference…?"_

 _"Yes, of course," Mrs Lester agreed immediately. "Actually, my aunt is looking for a housemaid at the moment. She lives in Yorkshire with her husband now and they are visiting me next week. I think it's a great facility for you. If you're not trouble, you will be able to work for them. And if you are... you will be supported there by me or will be able to come back, if you like. And I'll give you an excellent reference, because… "she cleared her throat " You deserve it."_

 _"Thank you, ma'am. You are very generous."_

 _Mrs Lester frowned. Probably, she couldn't decide whether her housemaid meant it sarcastic or not. Neither could Elsie herself._

xxxxxx

Elsie got up and walked to her dressing table. There was framed photo on it. She hid it everytime, when someone was about stepping into her bedroom, which happened very rarely She wasn't ashamed of that, but didn't like any questions about her past. She took it in her hands and petted Allen's face. He was as good-looking in that photo as she remembered. A man with blue eyes, blonde hair, boyishly handsome face.

Elsie had been a head housemaid in Downton for two years, when he died.

"My dearest Allen, what would you advise me? Would you still propose to me?"

* * *

 **Hope, you liked it.**

 **I have always wondered, where and how Elsie met a homosexual man.**

 **Allen's character was based on Mrs Hughes's line, _"_ _Why? Do you think Thomas is the first man of that sort that I've ever come across?"_**


	3. Chapter 3

**As I mentioned, I live in Hungary, so there may be some mistakes in my grammar.**

 **So, breakfast is very awkward for both Elsie and Charles next day. But the others are so content that they don't recognize the signs... except for Anna and Mr Bates.**

 **Set: 26th December, 1924**

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

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Christmas Day was supposed to be exceptionally lovely. Apart from New Year's Eve, that was the only day in a year, when the staff could consume their meal comfortably, without being interrupted or bothered by the family. Those times the servants were really grateful that they worked for Lord Grantham. Not every employer made such a concession.

Of course, there were tragic occasions too. They had no reason or mood to celebrate during the Great War, when William died and Mr Bates was landed in prison. The next years brought both happiness and grief. The staff and the family greeted two adorable children and mourned two adults. Mr Branson was strong and tried to go on because of the love he felt for his, and Lady Sybil's daughter, but Lady Mary was completely devasted after Mr Matthew's death. Mr Carson and Mr Branson did their best to put her out of her misery, and finally Lady Mary cried in the butler's arms – that was their common secret and they were willing to tell nobody.

It was supposed to be a great Christmas Day for everyone, when they were all content and looked forward to their own promising future. Of course, they weren't allowed to forget about their duties had to work hard until New Year's Eve, but the servants were always on cloud nine for the next few days… with the exception of Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes who were eating their breakfast with long faces and downcast eyes.

Felicity and festive mood were in the soul of the staff. They had a great fun, told each other different amusing jokes. Even the recently arrived Mr Bates was looking at his wife with sparky eyes and a dazzling smile, and never missed the chance to touch or caress her, as if he wanted to make sure that Anna was real, not just a vision. But Anna who clearly saw the face of Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes, frowned her eyebrows and moved her chin at them.

"Look at there," she gaped very cautiously, not wanting anybody to hear her, but Mr Bates.

Mr Bates looked at his wife suspiciously then nodded and turned to the housekeeper, who was sitting next to him.

"How are you feel today, Mrs Hughes?" asked Mr. Bates innocently.

Mrs Hughes suddenly shuddered, but tried to give him a friendly smile.

"I'm a bit tired, but quite well, thank you," she let out a nervous chuckle, then fell her eyes down. She didn't even say a word to Mr Bates, or greeted him. She realised her impoliteness toward him and quickly added "I'm very glad that you're here, Mr Bates, I am. But I think I am miles away. I might seem indifferent to your presence, but I don't intend to offend you, really."

Mr Bates nodded sympathetically.

"I see, Mrs Hughes. Being exhausted is not a sin."

She forced herself to smile again then lost in her own thoughts. Mr Carson was much more grumpy than usual, althought the joy of Christmas had always softened his rigidity a little bit. But the most interesting thing was the way they treated each other. Mr Carson always stared at the housekeeper with a heartbreaking expression on his face, when he thought she couldn't s see him. When Mrs Hughes turned to him, he averted his glance and started an awkward conversation with Miss Baxter.

Mr Bates and Anna agreed implicitly: something must had happened between them recently… or maybe, at last night.

It was obvious to Miss Baxter to, who was successfully bored by Mr Carson. He broached such issues like the chronological reign of England, the grief of Hungarian residents over the Treaty of Trianon – Miss Baxter had no idea what he was talking about –, and his growing distaste towards modern technology. If she hadn't been afraid of being caught, she would had rolled her eyes and sighed painfully.

Charles saw that Mrs Hughes had as little appetite as he had, althought neither of them was fond of wasting food. He had never been so grateful for the work they had to do before New Year's Eve, than at that moment. It would be very humilating to see her, to bump into her on the corridor or to open his mouth to begin a conversation with her. Paradoxically, he couldn't bear, if he had to avoid her all day. He had always found a pleasure in her small slim figure, her enchanting, blue eyes, her lovely Scottish accent and the way the keys on her hips jilted.

He had no idea what had come over him, when he invited her to his pantry in the middle of the celebration, while Lady Mary was singing. He just felt, it was the right time for the proposal. He had been gaining his courage for days to tell Mrs Hughes that he had registered the house in both of their names, but somebody always bothered them.

At first, he wanted to cancel and forget that stupid idea of investing in a property. He had enough savings for his retirement, he had always been thrifty, but it seemed to be a good facility to meet regularly in private, spend their days off together with their common business, get closer to each other, and plan their future together – then marry someday after they retire.

A few days later he had found a satisfying solution. Mrs Hughes had always been supportive with people who needed encouragement or help – certainly towards him, Charles. Now, it was his turn to repay her kindness. He had planned to share his house with her – not as business partners, but as a husband and a wife.

He didn't know when he had started to fall for Mrs Hughes. Maybe he started to realize his feelings when it was suspected that she had suffered from cancer. He had never worried about anyone else so much, including Lady Mary too. Fortunately, it was only a mare's nest, but he was so relieved that he sang an old folk song to himself. He didn't know how he would had been able to do without her. Although he was the head of the staff officially, deep in his soul, he had always surmised that Mrs Hughes was the one who actually managed the servants. Not directly, of course, but he didn't remember the last time when he decided or did something without asking for her advice – or permission. He was completely crossed around her little finger, he was aware of that.

He had been deliberating to ask for her hand in a marriage since their day off by the sea. Unfortunately it was unusual and improper to a butler and a housekeeper to get married, so Charles just played with the thought. He would had never dared to take a step towards her in a romantic way until their retirement. Mrs Patmore gave him the inspiration to invest in a property and he wished to involve Mrs Hughes too. At first as business partners, then as a married couple.

But his plan was doomed and the whole situation changed when Mrs Hughes told him about her lack of savings and her sister, Becky, who was not 'quite right in the head'.

There were no other opportunities: Charles had to marry her or he would lose her forever.

Everything seemed to be perfect… being at the pantry with two glasses of sherry, while the other were celebrating so they wouldn't be bothered by the impudent Mr Barrow or the bumbling Mr Moesley… oh God, he was so wrong.

"Mr Carson..."

Mr Carson he suddenly heard the sweetest voice in the world which brought him back down the earth. She carefully touched his arm and it was like an electric shock for him. He couldn't bear the touch of her skin, yet, he longed for it. He wanted to reach out for her hand and hold it for a moment… then the imigation of Mr. Burns came to his mind. In his mind, he saw a fat, red-faced rough with the lack of general knowledge and a horrible, harsh accent. But Mrs Hughes chose Mr Burns, not him… that was the point. Due the sudden ache in his chest, he was incapable of opening his mouth.

"Mr Carson," Mrs Hughes repetaed herself and swallowed "I think you have to go upstairs or you'll be late."

Charles sighed deeply, then stood up. The others followed him.

Mr Bates and Anna watched Mr Carson leaving the servants hall. His posture now was stooping, which made him much shorter than he was. His steps were unusually fast and he avoided the glances as if he had something to hide. How much he was keen on giving big talks about the importance of the right posture. He kept saying that it was a part of dignity.

Now he looked like a naughty boy after he got his punishment. Last time, when they saw such a behaviour from him, his old friend, Mr Charles Grigg appeared in Downton Abbey to humilate him. He had looked so lost in those days, that Anna wanted to give him a hug and comfort him. Both Anna and Mr. Bates had been giggling for weeks after the incident. They had been far from judging him, but the way he had overreacted the whole situation had been simply ridicoulus.

But that was somehow different. It was serious. It was obvious to them, when they saw the same expression on Mrs Hughes's face. The mixture of sorrow, shame, and remorse. Then she put her hand up and wiped her eyes. Was she fighting with tears? Hopefully not, but unfortunately it was probable.

"Did they have an argument?" inquired Mr Bates when they were out of the servants hall.

"I have no idea," Anna shook her head "They seemed to be get on well.

"Maybe last night... remember how upset he was," conjectured Mr Bates.

"By the way, it's not our business" she asserted, but her husband knew that she was dying of curiosity. Mrs Hughes was like a mother to her and she didn't want to see the housekeeper upset or unhappy.

"But if they don't resolve their conflict, the athmosphere will be tense downstairs. I'm sure we won't get away with the consequences.

xxxxxx

Anna passed by Mrs Hughes's sitting room and she heard strange noises. To be punctual, it was sniffle and choking. She hesitated whether she could bottom it or not. But what if the housekeeper was under the weather? She could had never forgiven herself, if she had fainted or been booting. Finally, she opened the door, her eyes were searching for Mrs Hughes. And the view was harrowing: Mrs Hughes was sitting at her desk, her face was concealed behind her hand, and she was crying. She suddenly felt that she was not on her own, quickly dried her tears, then turned to her guest.

"Oh, Anna. It's you..." she took out her handkerchief and blew her nose.

"Mrs Hughes... are you all right?

"Take a good guess," Mrs Hughes suddenly regretted her sentence and bit her lip. She was sometimes sarcastic but had never been rude... especially with Anna, who had never done anything wrong. "Forgive me, please."

Anna took a step towards her, not being sure, whether she was expected to comfort the eldelry woman, or leave her alone and act as if she hadn't seen anything.

"Never mind, Mrs Hughes."

It was followed by an uncomfortable silence. Anna twirled her fingers, desperately wanted some help from the housekeeper.

"I'm going to be okay, Anna, "snuffed Mrs Hughes" I just need some minutes...

"Is there anything I can do for you?" asked Anna. _Please let me stay and tell me, what your problem is. I'm longing for help you. I can't bear seeing you that melancholic, after all you have done for me and John. There is nothing more I want to do at the moment than putting you out of your misery._

Mrs Hughes smiled affectionately and reached her hand out for Anna. She came in and took it in hers.

"Anna, you are the loveliest young woman I have ever known, but I like dealing with my problems alone. I just want to say that you are very lucky to have such a wonderful husband that Mr Bates. Please do me a favour."

"Anything, Mrs Hughes."

"That man loves you very much, please try to make him happy. I mean," she cleared her throat "I didn't want to offend you, but it' your first Christmas for years, when you can find some happiness. Just smile and laugh and don't pay attention to anyone who has long face... including me. The love you feel toward each other is admirable and every woman wishes to marry such a nice man, like Mr Bates."

Anna smiled and nodded.

"I'm sorry if I was too familiar" added Mrs Hughes nervously.

"It's alright, Mrs Hughes. Thank you for your kind words. I have always been very grateful for the attention I received from you."

Mrs Hughes smiled with teary eyes. _What a darling thing she is._

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 **Thanks for the reviews. Keep reading and you will see what happens.**


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry guys, but I have very little free time. I am very glad for you who read and like my story and I plan to continue it. Hope you enjoy it. :)

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 **Chapter 4**

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Elsie closed her eyes and knocked on Mr Carson's door.

"Come in."

 _There you go, Elsie. You'll have to be over the way sooner or later. If not today, then tomorrow, but you must talk about it… with him. Joe'd like you to meet Peter very much._

She turned the handle of the door with trembling hands walked into the pantry.

Mr Carson was sitting behind his desk and attented to some papers, probably was stock-stacking. Evidently, he was completely engrossed in his work, so he didn't realize who had just stepped in.

"Do you have a moment for me, Mr Carson?" Charles heard the sweetest brouge in the world from the loveliest woman's mouth.

He had grown into a habit of flushing and quivering every time, Mrs Hughes addressed or approached him. That occasion wasn't an exception either. He looked frightened as if he saw a ghost. He was incapable of managing the whole situation, that griveous, unbearable feeling in his stomatch, which spouted by her sight. If they ran into each other, he either avoided her gaze or turned tail and absquatulated.

"Oh it's you, Mrs Hughes. Please, have a seat."

He tried everything to sound polite and calm.

"Thank you, Mr Carson."

He didn't dare to weight it up, how ridicoulus he could had been now in her eyes. He felt so silly, he could had kicked himself. What had he been thinking? Asking a woman's hand in a marriage who was about to marry another fellow? Althought, he couldn't had any idea about her future intentions, since Mrs Hughes wanted to keep her understatement with that farmer in private… still, he felt, his shameful vadueville past was nothing, compared to it.

Of course, Mrs Hughes was a decent woman, who would never him malice or take advantage of his indignity. She would never dare to abash him by proclaiming his gauche proposal and its consequences from the housetop.

And yet…

Every time he would look into her enormous, gracious blue eyes, he would see her unspoken message _– I know you want me, but I have chosen another man. Try to go on, and don't make things worse than they are. Please don't sour my last days in Downton by building a wall between us._

Neither of them said a word. Finally, Charles pressed his lips together and dug in his work again.

"What can I do for you, Mrs Hughes?"

He tried to imitate writing, trying to give an impression of a busy man, but just scratched rambling words and doodles on the paper.

Elsie took cognizance disappointedly that Mr Carson listened to her with half an ear. In other circumstances, she would had found that behaviour rude, especially from such a man, like Mr Carson who had always made speeches about politness and proper behaviour. But now she understood why he kept avoiding eye-contact with her. He had been doing that for the last few days, since Christmas Day. However he kept studying her frame when he thought Elsie couldn't see him. But they had to talk about it sooner or later… about the future fate of Mr Carson's house.

"What can I do for you, Mrs Hughes?" he repetaed himself, but the second time he sounded urgent, maybe even sharp too.

Elsie hesitated. She didn't know where or how to begin _. Never mind, Elsie. Take a deep breath and just let it out._

"Mr Carson, I wish to ask whether I am needed to terminate the contract…"

Mr Carson bent his brow. Obviously, he didn't realise what she was talking about…

"What kind of contract, Mrs Hughes?"

Elsie cleared her throat then clasped her hands in front of herself.

"You see… I mean… I want to… I wish to know, whether I ought to sign some papers for… giving up my joint property ownership. Honestly, I have no idea about its steps and don't know anything about law. But we should put an end to that… thing, provided you haven't done it earlier."

Mr Carson looked up from his papers and their eyes met. The air suddenly froze between them. Neither of them said a word. Mr Carson's face expression was indescribable when those sentences left her mouth. As if he realised only now, that they would never have a future together.

"Oh dear," thought Elsie"I have hurted his feelings again. He intented to share his house with me either I agree to be his wife or not. I offended him… it used to be the other way around."

"Mrs Hughes… as you know New Year's Eve is a very busy period of the year. For all I care…"

"I see," she nodded.

"Please don't interrupt me," His voice might sounded a bit offensive, since her eyes widened and she pressed her lips together.

"Please forgive me." It was the only thing he could say to her.

He needed some seconds until he could open his mouth again.

"I'm sorry, Mrs Hughes, I have never had the smattering of the fact that this case is so uncomfortable to you, but if you are so much bothered by that situation, we can go to the village as soon as we're able to. You'll have to sign some papers, but that's it. You see, a short horse is soon curried."

Mr Carson let out a small smile in order to ease the awkwardness of their conversation, but unfortunately, Elsie kept herself to the old proverb – _As well be hanged for a sheep as for a lamb._

 _Come on, Elsie. You'll have to be over the way sooner or later. Joe would like you to meet Peter before the wedding. You know, this is to worst time to come up with it, but there will be never a better facility._

"Mr. Carson, I would like to have a day off in the near future."

Mr Carson looked at her as if she was crazy or ot least had three ears. If she hadn't been the housekeeper, his almost equal, she would had received a crackdown, but now he gave her only a withering look.

'Mrs Hughes," he started with a prim tone "since when have you been working here?"

"Since 1902, Mr Carson."

"Then you must have learnt that I never give any member of the staff a day off in the last weeks of December. Moreover, you would be irreplaceable…" he blushed then added" , since you are the housekeeper."

"Before you would bite my head off," she hissed "I would like to inform you that I didn't mean these days. I'm perfectly aware of the duties we have at the end of December. I just wanted you to calculate that I'm leaving for a day as soon as possible."

"Where will you travel?" he asked then quickly added "I'm sorry, that was indiscretion. I should have asked when you will plan to go back. Just pretend I told you that."

Mr Carson smiled nervously and began giggling. Good God, a self-conscious Charles Carson was much stickier, than a livid Charles Carson.

"To Joe's… I mean, to Mr Burns's farm. He wishes me to have a proper meeting with his son before our wedding. We have already met once, but it happened eleven years ago…"

Elsie would had liked to bite her tounge when she noticed the sad sparkle in Mr Carson's eyes. _Stupid woman. You fool, callous, wicked female._

Mr Carson straightened and held his pen tighter. His big brown eyes searched hers, make her understand the unspoken words – _Why are you doing this with me? Don't you realize that my heart is breaking, woman? I don't bloody care about your groom or your future stepsson._

"There is no rush, Mr Carson, but I would highly appreciate it, if you let me know when I may go."

"Mr Branson is leaving in January, I suppose, you may write," he paused for a moment, then continued" to your Mr Burns, that you are travelling in January."

Elsie nodded and rewarded him with a thankful smile.

 _"_ Thank you, Mr Carson."

"I haven't done anything, there is no need to say that." he answered indifferently and rigidly.

 _Thank you for your_ _discreetness._

Elsie stood up, turned around and was about to leave, but when she reached the doorframe, his booming voice stopped her.

"Mrs Hughes… when will you announce your engagement to his Lordship and her Ladyship? When will you tell the staff your future plans?"

Elsie turned around and looked in his eyes.

"I beg you pardon, Mr Carson?"

Mr Carson cleared his throat and started to explain himself.

"I don't wish to get the impression of taking liberties but I'm afraid of…"

He swallowed. _Don't say, I'm afraid loosing you. For God's sake don't make a bigger fool of yourself, than you already are._

"I'm afraid of spilling the beans in front of the others. I suppose, I'm the only one who knows about it… since I've inveigled you into an uncomfortable situation."

"We make it official in January. I don't intend to leave you… all, I mean, to retire, until we haven't found a new housekeeper."

Mr Carson was beholden that Mrs Hughes couldn't hear his thoughts. _You will never find the one who could be worthy to your place at the house._

"I've been mulling over Anna, because she is fair, hard-working, highly appreaciated by both upstairs and downstairs, and gets on very well with almost everyone in the house… including Mr Barrow which is a big word."

That was the first time when both of them let out a little chuckle. Yes, Anna seemed to be perfect, but still, there was Mr Bates.

"Yes, Anna would be… _suitable_ for your role."

" _But not nearly perfect,_ " he said to himself.

"But in consideration of her relationship with Mr Bates… Anna has too much on her plate and couldn't cope with such a duty at that moment."

"She would have enough time to learn to cope with it… unless you are leaving in the next days." Charles wanted to tell it as a joke, but it turned to be an own goal. God, even the thought of it is horrible.

"Who knows when Mr Bates and Anna will get over it. Maybe it will last for months, even years," sighed Elsie, thinking of them for a moment, then shook her head.

Mr Carson was glad that they can change the topic for a few minutes.

"His Lordship said that he wished to ignore his situation until January. He wants to spend the last days of December on celebrating and enjoying himself. As for me, I share his opinion. These days was supposed to be spent with joy and happiness. We ought to hide our personal disappointments and broken hearts.

Charles looked down and his fingers started to play with his pen.

"A tactful person would never ruin the Christmas of the others, by sharing some bad news."

Elsie nodded and gave him a knowing look. _Please forgive me one day, if you can. I know it's painful, but I will do my best to avoid this topic. It was the first and last time I spoke to you about Joe and my wedding._

"And what about Miss Baxter, Mrs Hughes?"

Elsie's nostlises widened. Over the past fifteen years, she had been successfully keeping him in the dark. There were so much things, he didn't have the faintest idea about… like Miss Baxter's bad record.

"If Anna is incapable of taking my role in the house, then I wouldn't recommend Miss Baxter either."

"Why? She is an excellent employee and remember how helpful she and Mr Moesley were when they did their best to Anna and Mr Bates."

 _Elsie, pull yourself together. You must learn to shut up your big mouth. Make up something, quickly. You can't say that she was accuosed of stealing. Wait a minute. Miss Baxter and Mr Moesley… perfect._

"That's the point."

"What?"

 _Elsie, you are a genius._

"You see, it's not my business. Far be it from me to gossip, but Mr Moesley and Miss Baxter… well… understand each other very well and have so much in common. So, if Miss Baxter were the housekepper and would marry Mr Moesley later, it would be very uncomfortable to Mr Moesley that his wife would be his superior."

As she expected, Mr Carson's eyes widened and his face radiated honest consternation and distaste.

"I have never favoured the idea of the wife being in a higher position than her husband. I've never liked Mr Moesley but, I would feel sorry for him, if that happened."

 _Blimney, it's too easy._ Elsie frowned affectionately then bit her lip. The old, conservative, pedantic Mr Carson had come back. It was the tip of her tounge – s _ays the experencied husband._

"Don't laugh at me, Mrs Hughes. I might be a bachelor, but I keep my eyes peeled."

Elsie needed self-control not to burst into laughter. How she would miss that dear man. How could anybody suffer from self-ignorance so much?

"I told you not to laugh," he scolded her gently but the same smile appeared on his face too. Both of them were extremely grateful to that little teasing which broke the ice between them, even just a little bit.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry guys, for updating so late. Thanks to my lovely beta, evachrisovitsanousweety for help.**

 **This chapter take place in May 1913. Elsie is going to the fair to meet an old friend... but not with Joe Burns.**

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 **Chapter 5**

 _ **May 1913**_

 _Elsie Hughes opened her wardrobe door and looked into it. She took a deep breath as she thought of the fact that Lady Grantham and her daughters change their clothes for dinner every day and she possessed only a skirt and two blouses apart from her uniforms and her Sunday best and became green with envy. On the other hand, thinking the amount of her free time, she didn't need more clothes._

 _Well, beggars can't be choosers. Anyway, it's just a night in the fair. It was a fact, Mr Porter, her previous co-worker wrote her a letter where he explained her that he received a job as a butler in Ripon and wished to meet her, speak with her and ask about her life._

 _Oh yes, she remembered Mr Porter very well. When she first met him, he was known as Edward, the footman of Mr and Mrs Galton, her previous employers. He was slightly younger than Elsie, but his physical appearance was unforgettable. Tall, dark and handsome. A true striker. Of course, it was highly forbidden, sneaking around with a maid from the house, but in their village even the walls had ears. But she had always respected his discreetness, because he had never intended to seduce her. Even if he had wanted, he had never made a step to her in that way._

 _Edward Porter was hard-working and attractive, just like Thomas Barrow, but he possessed the same egotism and viciousness which could be found in Thomas too. No wonder, why it did take him so long, to move up and make a career._

 _Was he so good-looking still? Or did he became less arrogant? Elsie wondered. And… what will he think when he would first clap an eye on her after so many years?_

 _She looked at the mirror of her dressing table. She had never considered herself vain, she hadn't even studied her face for years. She contently had cognizance of the fact that her face wasn't beginning to tell upon her… that much. Her skin remained soft and silky. Her hair could retain its original color and apart from those very few wrinkles, there weren't many differences between the fifty-one-year-old and the twenty-year-old Elsie Hughes._

 _To tell the truth, young Elsie Hughes wasn't bad-looking at all. All right, her face had been a bit long, and her ears had been anomalistic. On the other hand, she had always received compliments on her eyes. And her 'Mam' had kept suggesting to smile more because it made her features far more attractive._

 _But what was Mr Porter planning? After all, they hadn't met for ten years. And although, they had got on quite well, they hadn't been that close to each other. Maybe he wished to court her?_

 _"Get away with you, Elsie," she shook her head on her own silliness, "he has never laid an eye on you. Moreover, he is seven years younger than you, for Heaven's Sake."_

 _Last but not least… he wasn't Joe Burns._

 _Elsie Hughes had never been in love. She adored Allen, and the thought of leaving him had made her new life much harder. They had been corresponding for years and always met when Elsie had travelld to Argyl. After he had found out, what had happened to Elsie, he moved back to his 'Da''s farm. He had never married or had children, but his repressed shame had been consuming him during the years and he had turned to alcohol. Elsie had been heartbroken then, being the witness of her dearest friend's self-destruction . Maybe, she should had accepted him many years ago. Not because of herself, but him. If he had had a confidant, a friend, who had been standing by his side, he would had been able to get over it._

 _The closest thing to love she had ever experienced was with Joe Burns. She thought of him with great affection. Well, he had been tall, dark and… nice. Actually, he had been red-faced, and a bit husky, still really charming. He hadn't been a Romeo at all, he hadn't written to her sonnets or poems. But he had always given her flowers. He had been just like herself: sensible, down-to-earth, and had never had too many irons in the fire. They had even been born in the same year. They had been walking out when she had worked for Mr and Mrs Galton. It had started as a romance with no love, but lust. Stolen kisses, weekly trysts in secrets places. Things that Mr Carson would never approve of. They hadn't been young then, but had been far from being called 'old', Both of them had been nearing forty. A spinster and a widow. Comfortable, sweet, forbidden romance for satisfying basic needs. Elsie had been attracted to Joe, but would never give up her work for him. And it had been followed by an unexpected turn: Joe Burns declared his love and asked for her hand in a marriage._

 _Elsie chuckled at that memory – the last fellow who had had tried to seduce her was that short, fat boy from her teenage years, whose alluring words had convinced Elsie to step in a sinful relationship._

 _Finally they had agreed on a three-month-long probation. Elsie had accepted the job to decide whether she had liked the life of a housemaid in Downton Abbey or not. Sentimentality or not, Downton Abbey had stolen Elsie's heart away. The properties owned by the Lesters and the Galtons were nothing compared to that house. That greatness, that elegancy. That was like those wonderful houses from those fairy tales from Elsie's childhood. Of course, it was a big step back, considering the fact that she had been the housekeeper at the Galtons, while she was only the head housemaid in Downton Abbey. However Elsie, shame or not, had been completely seduced, letting place to her romantic and dreaming feelings – maybe the only time in her life. Furthermore, Mrs Stevens, her superior had grown to like her and respect her for her ambitions. Elsie had had to face with a huge dilemma – magnificence, radiance… and salary. Oh yes, money had been the essential thing. That had been the main reason why she had stayed at Downton Abbey. As a housemaid she had earned as much money as she had earned as a housekeeper at Mr and Mrs Galton. If she managed to work hard, she would be a housekeeper in a few years. She could save more money. She could send a fortune to home, to support her 'Mam'. Maybe, she could travel to Scotland every year in order to visit them._

 _Nevertheless, if she had had stayed with Joe at the farm… she couldn't expect him to pay for her family's expenses. Actually, she had never felt that living in a farm had been her cup of tea. It was a decent, but hard life._

 _Her 'Mam' had always been unable to understand her decisions. The reason why she had chosen career over family. Mrs Hughes had always been sure until her death, that it had been a painful sacrifice for Elsie's part. She had died a few years ago, in that conviction, that she had ruined her daughter's happiness._

 _Elsie's anticipation told her that it had been right to stay at Downton Abbey. She had wanted to do her best for her 'Mam' and Becky and had wished to prove that she could be independent, and manage her life on her own._

 _Her chest had tightened a few months later, when she had received a letter from Joe. He had married a lass, called Ivy. Small, slender, quite pretty thing. Well, it had been her decision, and had to take the consequances after all._

 _Downton Abbey had been providing her work and duty during the years and Elsie had been full of ambitions. When she had had the opportunity, she would always visit her 'Mam' and Becky in Scotland. She had seen even Allen once or twice – before he was gone._

 _But sometimes, when she laid on her bed and she was alone… she wondered. What life would have been as a farmer's wife? Sometimes she thanked God for her job when she saw those skinny bitter women in Downton. On the other hand, when she watched those wives strolling with their husbands arm-in-arm. Even the plainest woman turned into a true beauty by the loving gaze of her man._

 _But it was too late now... she couldn't marry even if she wanted. No one had courted her since Joe burns. Mrs Stevens had been kind and fair, but she had kept a strict eye on her girls. Having a suitor for a housemaid was highly forbidden. When she became a housekeeper, she had neither time nor energy for romance._

 _To cap it all, she had been already taking care of Becky for five years then. She had been paying for her sister's caretaker. She couldn't betray Becky now. She couldn't be so selfish._

 _Elsie sighed before having a last look at her face in the mirror._

 _"Enough with that nonsense, you old bag. Think of tonight. Suppose, you will go to the fair, have dinner and have a good time together. You are going to meet an old acquaintance... an acquaintance and nothing more."_

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 **Hope you like it. Thank you,** **evachrisovitsanousweety:)**


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